"Research published yesterday identified a new social class: the "regretful loner." They are men aged between 35 and 55, who live alone, and have either failed to settle down, or are the victims of failed relationships and separated families.

As a result, men who live alone double their risk of heart disease. Last month's Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health discovered that the two strongest indicators for severe angina, heart attacks, or sudden death, were age and living alone."

Reminds me of an old joke. A single guy books himself a cruise and gets shipwrecked on an island with Pamela Anderson. After weeks together alone with fading hopes of being rescued they do what comes natural and soon they are making love like rabbits. One morning as they sit around the campfire our guy turns to Pamela and says "Pam, can I ask you a favour? It's kind of a weird request, but can you just use the charcoal from the fire and make a small moustache on your face?". Pamela thinks he is going crazy but duly obliges. The very next morning comes another request - "Pammy, would you mind just adding a beard for me". Again she obliges. The next morning our guy makes another request - "Pammy, can I just change your name for today please? Can I call you Bill?". Pamela thinks ok, now he is really going crazy, but again she concedes to his request. Our guys thanks her, takes a drink of his coconut milk and he turns to her and says "Hey Bill - you will never guess who I have been shagging!".